Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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