Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
