he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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