You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
