i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
