No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
