The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
