Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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