she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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