whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Welp...herpes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
