Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
