so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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