I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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