covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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