I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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