Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
