there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
