omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
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Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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