I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
