i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
