don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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