Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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