Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
