so that wasnt chicken after all
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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