mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
