i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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