I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize