How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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