Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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