Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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