Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
