So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
