Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
