If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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