There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
