Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
