I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
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So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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