I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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