OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
