man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
