Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
