Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?