Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.

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  (207): We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math. http://tfl.nu/vxcn
  Replies (85) Good night (1374) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.

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  (443): Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her. http://tfl.nu/u8d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1462) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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  (253): dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool http://tfl.nu/jdq1
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (2562) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (1134) Bad night (2615) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave

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  (850): Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave http://tfl.nu/oh8m
  Replies (36) Good night (7384) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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  (660): Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport... http://tfl.nu/e5jz
  Replies (12) Good night (4181) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

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  (412): She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out... (412): She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7. http://tfl.nu/j9aq
  Replies (11) Good night (4139) Bad night (904)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20

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  (443): the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20 http://tfl.nu/oq26
  Replies (16) Good night (1794) Bad night (3094) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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  (308): Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/konb
  Replies (8) Good night (3337) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais

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  (205): decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais http://tfl.nu/hn97
  Replies (9) Good night (2415) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

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  (615): You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it. http://tfl.nu/hvow
  Replies (4) Good night (1585) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"

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  (619): I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn" http://tfl.nu/h75w
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.

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  (602): The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier. http://tfl.nu/l0xp
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire

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  (757): he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire http://tfl.nu/du1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1198) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.

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  (516): today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror. http://tfl.nu/6dpn
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (284)

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