i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway