Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch