his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
