What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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