Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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