that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
