Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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