u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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