If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
