He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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