I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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