actually, I'm a sock model
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
