I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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