I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize