I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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