I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
