Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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