I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
