What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize